November 2002 // My college admissions essay (aka. the personal statement).
What started out as a journal entry eventually became the essay that got me into UCLA. w/ a “D” on my transcript, who would’ve thought that I would end up at UCLA!
PS. It was by the grace of God that I got accepted to UCLA. If you’re interested, I’d love to tell you my journey getting into college.
I grew up in a devout Buddhist family. Up until about eighth grade, I never questioned my beliefs. I was always proud to be a Buddhist because I knew hardly anyone at school who was Buddhist. Many of my friends were Catholics. Then in ninth grade, I began to question my belief in Buddhism. Was Buddha really a god? Or was he just a regular man who lived life, exploring human suffering? I did not know. Occasionally, my friends would ask me, “What are you? What is your religion?” I did not know what to tell them, so I replied, “My parents are Buddhists, but I’m not sure what I am. I don’t think I’m a Buddhist though.”
From ninth grade to eleventh grade, my relationship with my parents changed dramatically. Almost every day, I would have arguments with my parents about grades and school. Like many Asian families, grades are everything to my parents. Education is always first. They stressed to my brothers and I that it was important to get a good education in order to support our future family. I was not allowed to go out with friends, only with my family. They didn’t want me going out with my friend because they thought that it was affect me academically and was afraid that their influence would make my grades drop. I felt left out and secluded from society because my parents were sheltering me. I began to rebel whenever I could not go out with a friend. They became angry whenever I got a “B” in a class. I didn’t understand why. They would tell me their reasons why, but I did not want to listen. I just yelled at them. My parents tried every way to discipline me, but none worked. My actions towards my parents also became apparent outside of home. They went to my aunts and uncles for advice, but none of them succeeded. I did not want listen to anyone but myself. Once, my cousin Cathy saw me in a fight with my parents. She told me that I was being disrespectful, and she expressed her disappointment in me. It then really hit me. I am really close with Cathy, and her opinion was important to me. I realized that not only she was disappointed in me, but my also other cousins and relatives were as well. I wasn’t only disrespectful towards my parents, but I was acting like this towards my friends and relatives. I noticed that my relationships with my friends were also plummeting. My friends suddenly became my enemies. They negatively influenced me by telling me to do things that were against school rules, like asking me to ditch class. Everything began to pile up, and I did not know what to do.
In early June of 2002, I started to reflect on all my past actions towards my family and friends. I realized that I had treated them my family and friends cruelly and disrespectfully. I wanted to be a better person, so I considered my beliefs. I was tired of listening to my parents and following their advice. I preferred to listen to a monk, rabbi, pastor, or priest teaching me the virtues of life. I told my parents that I wanted to go to my friend’s Christian church. I didn?t tell them why, because I knew that they would not believe me. They would think that I was going to be with friends and have fun, rather than learn about morality from the pastor. I wanted to come up with my own moral values, and not seek the advice of others. I also did not only want to learn about the virtues from my parents because I didn’t think I would ever agree with them, but I could not tell them that because it would hurt their feelings.
I went to a Christian church for the first time in late June of 2002. At first this church made me so uncomfortable, but I liked it because it taught moral values. For example, like how a person should treat his family members, or what to do when a person and his friend are mad at each other. I wanted a change in my life, so I decided to come back again. Shortly after, I accepted Christ as my Savior and became a Christian. I went home that day and told my parents the good news. I thought they were going to be happy for me, but they weren’t. I really didn’t think becoming a Christian would disappoint them. They were so disappointed that I would turn against their teachings and of a sudden, become a Christian. They let me go to church to learn the virtues, since they couldn’t find a Buddhist temple that taught in English. But they did not think that I would convert.
My parents noticed a change in me after I attended church regularly. I too noticed a change in myself. I became more patient with my parents. I started to listen to them and began to take their advice, rather than just my own, or my pastor’s. I resolved the conflicts I had had with my friends. I became more gentle with my brother Robert, who before, had been afraid of me. I knew right then, that the change in me was because of my faith in God. Before I became a Christian, I was not morally aware of anything.
Right when I became a Christian, it was my priority to have a good relationship with my parents. I really wanted to have a good mother/daughter and father/daughter relationship. My pastor recently had spoken about how important it is in God’s eyes to have a good relationship with our parents. I continued to make an effort to be more kind and nice to them. Instead of always arguing with them whenever I was dissatisfied with something, I tried to talk to them in a calmer tone, rather than in a harsh and rude tone. Having a good relationship with my parents was very important to me. I remember one night, I was walking past my parents’ bedroom, when my dad called me in to talk to him. My mom was in the room as well. I was afraid that I was going to get into trouble because whenever they called me in their bedroom to talk about something, it was always about something bad that I did. Contrary to what I expected, they both told me that they were proud of me, and that they noticed the good changes in me. It made me really happy to hear that from them, because I have not heard anything like that from them in the longest time.
A few weeks later at my aunt’s house, I was talking to my cousins in the living room when I heard my name from the dining room where my parents, aunts, and uncles were eating. I began to listen quietly to what was being said about me. It was my dad’s voice saying, “My daughter has changed a lot ever since I let her go to church. She’s been more patient and she listens to us. She’s nicer to her brothers now and she hardly gets into fights anymore. She’s made an effort to be a better person. My wife and I are very proud of her. You should let your daughters go to church as well! Our daughter has changed a lot, and I’m sure yours will, too.” When I heard him say all those things, I was happy because I changed for the better–I changed for God. I told my parents that all that I am is because of God. I was grateful that they were not so reluctant about my new Christian faith anymore.
As much as my parents are proud of me because I’ve changed a lot over the summer, there are still times when I will make mistakes. However, instead of yelling at them for disciplining me or ignoring their advice, I listen to them. I continue to strive to have better and closer relationships with my parents. After all, the Bible does say, “Honour thy father and thy mother.” (Holy Bible, Exodus 20:12). I do not just obey them because I have to, but because I want to and because I am doing this for God.
